The Ugly Volvo (theuglyvolvo) wrote,
The Ugly Volvo
theuglyvolvo

I love Frosted Flakes, not so much for the actual flakes-- those are fine or great, or g-r-r-reat, or whatever. But my favorite kind of Frosted flakes are institutional Frosted Flakes. And it has nothing to do with the flakes themselves, but rather with the fact that they're served in that enormous plastic dispenser thing.

They kept the cereals in these in college; I would go down to the very bottom of the Frosted flakes dispenser, underneath all the worthless flakes that would eventually be shoveled up by blander, less ambitious college students, and would tunnel my way to the bottom of the unit, filling my bowl with heap after heap of sugary, ground-up dust.
And it isn't the same thing as eating sugar. It's almost pure sugar but there's enough of the ground flakes in there to make you feel like you're eating something substantial. And I would either eat this enormous pile of sugar dry or would roll my raisins around it in before adding them to the Raisin Bran since two scoops of raisins is five scoops too few and It's obnoxious to pick all the sugar covered raisins out of the Raisin Bran Dispenser. Picking all the raisins out of a cereal is a one-way ticket to no friends-ville. No one appreciates this. Do not do it.

But eating all the sugar dust at the bottom of a cereal appeared to be OK. My teeth are paying for it, but it's socially acceptable as long as you don't mind people looking at you funny and occasionally asking if you'll sell them drugs.


Just a note though, that this should be done with Frosted Flakes and other sweet and sugary cereals. Today I thought I was horribly clever when I poured the grainy remains of the Wheat Thins box into my mouth.
Let me take a moment to remind everyone that the substance on the bottom of the Wheat Thins box is salt, not sugar, and eating an entire handful of it is not something I recommend unless you want to be scraping your tongue with a metal spatula, trying not to vomit or pass out.
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