The Ugly Volvo (theuglyvolvo) wrote,
The Ugly Volvo
theuglyvolvo

Every so often I search the world wide web for people who have interesting or unusual phobias. I am constantly on the lookout for ones that are, if it can be imagined, stupider than my own.

My own phobias, for the record, are a fear of Jewelry and a fear of Wrists. The jewelry I've mentioned numerous times. The fear of wrists I almost never mention because mentioning it makes me curl up my hands--like a retarded person, sort of--and this makes it increasingly difficult to type anything.

In the past I'd checked up for new phobias on Phobialist.com: Things such as Fear of Dust, Chins, Nudity, or Bolsheviks. You have to feel bad for people who are afraid of things like 'rooms.'
Where do they live?

And as much as my own phobias might make sense to me, I constantly find myself laughing at other people's. I can associate with the reaction but not the stimulus. I often find myself frozen in fear when walking past a jewelry store window, but I can't fathom being afraid of chickens or French People or Handwriting. I can't even fathom being afraid of snakes, really. It just doesn't make any sense to me. It's so bizarre, how people work.

But recently I found something a bit more off-kilter. This new site not only had listed BOTH of my own phobias, but mine were far from being the oddest on the site.

First off-- I had no idea this many people were afraid of ketchup. Or mustard. Or Mayonnaise. One excerpt I enjoyed from someone who's father is afraid of Thousand Island Dressing:

"My father has an extreme ketchup phobia in addition to a number of other more recognizable phobias. He has a full blown anxiety attack when we use it and the house goes into Hazmat alert if it spills on the floor. Same goes for 1000 island dressing. His eyes get wide and real crazy looking and he backs away and tells everyone to freeze."

Some of them may not be 'phobias' exactly. One person's "Fear that Everybody in the World is an Actor, and that You're the Big Joke" sounds a little more like schizophrenia.

There are ten people listed who are afraid of cotton balls. Four afraid of ripping paper. Two afraid of buttons. One afraid of Snoop Doggy Dog and another of the Royal Ontario Museum. The first man listed is so afraid of Spandex that he can't attend his daughter's dance recitals.

And some of my favorites are listed at the end under "Miscellaneous Phobias." Such as:

Fear of Going Back in Time, Getting Stuck There, Then Contracting a Disease that's Curable Now, but Won't Be Curable Then

Fear of Being Drowned By Peacocks

Fear of a Little White Dog Coming Out of Your Closet (Submitter has been locking her closet since she was 3)


I'm hoping I'll eventually be able to contact the person with the phobia of jewelry, but until then I'll just sit here and twitch uncontrollably.
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