September 19th, 2006


Actual Childcare Position on Craigslist

Looking for a college educated tudor/babysitter to help with my children in the afternoons until the evening. Fluent in Spanish, happy, energetic applicant with NYC references/experience.

To Whom it May Concern:

While I am unfortunately not "fluent" in Spanish, I do speak a small amount to facilitate foreign affairs, focusing most of my energy on what I refer to as "the King's English." I am well educated and have lots of experience with children (mainly girls, unfortunately) and am extremely energetic, as requested in your craigslist posting. I have a happy, upbeat demeanor, except when married to women who either cheat on me or refuse to produce male heirs (or, as you might say "mail hairs"). I would love to meet with you to learn more about the position available.

While I have no "NYC" references, as you requested, I have enclosed a glowing letter of recommendation, authored by Tom Wolsey, Archbishop of York, who can vouch for my employment history. I'm certified in CPR, took a babysitting course at my local library, and separated the Church of England from Roman Catholicism.

My rates are $12 an hour and I prefer to stay close to my apartment on 41st and 2nd ave. I hope very much to hear from you.

Yours respectfully,