July 26th, 2006

I'm adorable., Hi

The fountain of youth is filled with Ecto Cooler

I was walking down my block when I heard someone utter the phrase, "I just want to be a kid again," and turning to nod, saw that it had been uttered by a 12 year-old girl. And I immediately wanted to laugh before realizing how many times I've uttered it myself and how many people 10 or 20 years older must have looked at me endearingly saying, "Oh, look at that 20-something year old girl who thinks she's a grownup. They're so CUTE when they're that age!"

I remember as an actual, knee-scraping, kick-the-can playing child, hearing my father talk about the "kids" in his office, and imagining a law firm overrun with 6 and 7 year-olds, playing hide and seek behind the file cabinets and making insurance forms into origami hats and boats and boxes.

"You have kids in your office?" I asked? Did he love them as much as us, I wondered?
"They're kids to me," he would explain.
"How old are they?" I asked.
"Late 20's, early 30's," he guessed, which turned my world upside down, since people of that age, in my mind, were running for president and applying for social security. And he uses the same phrases today, only now applying it to lawyers in their late 30's through their 40's.

"Those kids in the office-- one of them just got married and had a baby."

As I slowly get older, I realize I have started forgetting my real age, often rounding up. The other day I told someone I was thirty.
"You're thirty?" she asked. "I thought you were younger than that."
"I'm 26," I said. "I just forget."
I've unintentionally adopted my father's method of aging which is to start announcing that he's whatever upcoming age is making him nervous, so by the time it gets there, he's used to it. He'll then continue using that age for the next five years, before jumping to the next decade. He has been 30, 40, 50. He is now actually 60. He has been 60 since 55 and will be 60 for half a decade to come. As long as you have a general idea of how old he is, it doesn't really matter.

So I am thirty, or somewhere thereabouts. I think of it as setting your alarm clock to be fast so you realize you have more time than you thought you did. And I do wish I were a kid again while simultaneously, I realize, being one. While I sometimes envy 8 year-olds their freedom from 9-5's in the summer and biological clocks and grey hairs, being young seems much more elusive than it actually is. And were I to approach the wizard, who was doling out brains and hearts and courage and trips to Kansas, he would likely tell me that I've had the ability to be young the whole time.

"Just click your heels together three times," the giant pink witch-woman would advise. "Close your eyes and promise never to wear beige or stop looking at flowers, and follow every trip to the DMV with an entire bag of Oreo cookies or Cheez-its or a Charleston Chew from the community pool snack bar."

And I would do it, of course, and would wake up to discover that I was young again. I'd be pissed that my life was black and white again, after being in color for most of the movie, but would still be thrilled because if you get a good lighting director, he can take years off your face, and can hopefully minimize the 10 pounds gained from that DMV Cheez-its binge.




Poll #778656 "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"

If you could go back and start your life at a certain point, knowing what you know now, would you?

Of course. I think about that every goddamn day.
22(28.9%)
No, I'm Raquel's father and my only regrets are not going to school in Boston and not having more wonderful daughters.
3(3.9%)
Yes, but I don't have a specific point from when I want to start over, I just want to be young.
8(10.5%)
Yes, and I would immediately write the book of love and let the dogs out and start the fire, so all those songs would be about me.
9(11.8%)
Yes, but I'm an underachiever and would probably screw things up the second time around as well.
28(36.8%)
I'm allergic to time travel and can only go as far back as when they invented the Epi-pen.
6(7.9%)

What age would you be and why?

If you could live your life again and skip a few years that were awful (Junior High school springs to mind) would you skip them? Which ones are they?

Hold old are you?

Dakota Fanning old
0(0.0%)
Haley Joel Osmet old (He's around 18 now, and really awkward-- see also: Jonathan Lipniki old)
5(6.3%)
Beyonce old
28(35.4%)
Tom Hanks old (I'm timeless and everyone loves me so who the hell cares how old I am?)
9(11.4%)
Jack Palance old (I'm old but I can still do one-handed push ups.)
0(0.0%)
Elizabeth Taylor old (I don't know who I am or why I'm taking this quiz)
1(1.3%)
Old enough to know that I should have put someone in between Beyonce and Tom Hanks.
23(29.1%)
Too old to be on livejournal
3(3.8%)
I don't care how old I am.
4(5.1%)
I'm a highlander.
6(7.6%)

How old do you feel?

Dakota Fanning old
7(9.0%)
Haley Joel Osmet old (He's around 18 now, and really awkward)
11(14.1%)
Beyonce old
14(17.9%)
Tom Hanks old (I'm timeless and everyone loves me so who the hell cares how old I am?)
10(12.8%)
ack Palance old (I'm old but I can still do one-handed push ups.)
5(6.4%)
Elizabeth Taylor old (I don't know who I am or why I'm taking this quiz)
4(5.1%)
Old enough to know that I should have put someone in between Beyonce and Tom Hanks.
6(7.7%)
Too old to be on livejournal
5(6.4%)
I don't care how old I am.
6(7.7%)
I'm a highlander.
10(12.8%)

What are you most looking forward to about getting old?

Don't you think that girl saying she wants to be a kid again is cute?

She's not just cute, she's FUCKING cute.
10(12.8%)
She's just regular cute.
21(26.9%)
I hate all adolescents.
13(16.7%)
I hate all adolescents but I don't like admitting that to people so sure, I think she's cute.
14(17.9%)
Not like "hot cute," but like "cute, cute."
20(25.6%)