October 7th, 2004


Caught in the Act.

My sister Pam is one of the precious few 22 year olds who read Family Circle and Martha Stewart Living on a regular basis. She decorates for Christmas in early August. Last week, after a slight bout of depression, she cheered herself up by making a grape vine wreath. She is becoming dangerously addicted to Yankee Candles.
She also teaches elementary school, which just feeds into her need to buy popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners for no discernable reason. I have told her that if this keeps up, we will ship her off to the midwest where she will gain 40-something pounds, and she agreed that it had gotten a little bit out of hand.

She has a boyfriend in Brooklyn which, given the fact that she lives in Albany, is somewhat of a trek, and they often don't see each other for weeks on end. She wants all their time together to be memorable and worthwhile-- more than just sitting around watching TV. She wants the two of them to do things together. Which is why, while walking through Wal-Mart the other day, she was ecstatic to come upon...a sock monkey kit.

And before I say anything else, let me comfort you with the fact that she caught herself before she purchased it and the monkey got no further than her glue gun-laden shopping cart, but the fact remains that, as she put it:

"I was walking down the aisle and I saw this kit where you make your own sock monkey and it was so cute! And I thought, wouldn't that be an awesome thing for Adrian and I to do together next time he comes up to visit-- we could spend the day at home together, making this sock monkey together. And I actually thought that-- thought about what a nice time we'd have and the monkey was in my cart for a good couple of minutes before I said,
'WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING? We're both in our early twenties and live in metropolitan areas, what on earth would possess me to think it's a good idea for me to put a sock monkey together with my boyfriend?"

I couldn't say, but I pray it isn't contagious. She's only a few months away from a part-time job at Michaels, taken solely for the discount on the yarn, which she will then use to knit baby clothes for her armies of sock monkeys.

I worry about her sometimes.


sockdolager is coming up for Halloween! This will be the third Halloween I have spent with her.

I haven't seen her since May, and before that, since last Halloween. Oh man, I'm so excited. This is going to be awesome. This makes me very happy.
  • Current Mood
    ecstatic ecstatic

Vice Presidential Debate

So I know I've said before that I'd like to see John Edwards replaced by John Edward-- the guy who hosts "Crossing Over," that show where he communicates with dead people. I've now also decided that I'd like Dick Cheney replaced with Lon Chaney.
For those of you who were unfamiliar, Lon Chaney (the younger) was the only character actor to play the big 4, when it comes to bad guys: Dracula, The Wolfman, The Mummy, and Frankenstein.

But despite his lack of political experience, I wouldn't mind seeing him in office.

After all, Lon Chaney only pretends to be a monster.