September 16th, 2004

Steinberg

I.C.U.

A lot of times when I'm in the bathroom stall and there's someone in the stall next to me, but I get out first, the other person will spend this unexplainable amount of time in the stall-- and I'll make a point to take a LOOOOOONG time washing my hands so I can find out who it is that I was peeing with, but they STILL don't come out.
After a while it gets kind of ridiculous and I have to just leave, but what's even more fun than leaving is walking to the door, opening it and letting it close while standing silently in the bathroom. Not one second later, the door of the stall begins to open...

Doing this makes me think I'd enjoy hunting, if I could get past the part where you shoot and kill adorable innocent animals. I don't like hurting animals, but I really would like to trick a deer into walking out unexpectedly, only to have him hold his face in his hooves and admit defeat.

"Oh man, you totally got me. I didn't even...I didn't even SEE you. Is that that Gore-Tex camouflage? L.L. Bean, Fall 2003? Oh man...you're really good, you know that? I completely freaked. I was stopped in my tracks like a deer in headlights. Figuratively, of course, but still..."
Volvo

Crap.

So my comedy audition in Connecticut today? It's in front of 2 or 3 people.

How the hell am I going to make 2 or 3 people laugh. This is almost scarier than figuring out how the hell to get to I-84 (which is what had been making me nervous for the first half of the day).