May 17th, 2004

Volvo

My birthday & Troy

I had a fabulous birthday weekend thanks to allotheria who not only took me out for dinner, drinks, a movie and several games of laser tag (in which he consistently ended up with a freakishly high score) but also got me (amongst other things) the DVD of all the Weird Al Yankovic videos and


MY VERY OWN RED STAPLER.

And as if that weren't cool enough, it all came wrapped in homemade David Cross "Shut up you fucking baby" wrapping paper.

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In other news: I halted production on my ass-sucking machine after the release of the movie "Troy," since my flimsy contraption was no match for this butt-cheek inhaling monolith. One of the few things that could've made this movie worse would be if the Trojan Horse had been played by the same Equine Actor who portrayed Seabiscuit.
I think Orlando Bloom should stick to his fairly successful Legolas character, taking over where Jim Varney left off in movies like, "Legolas goes to Camp," and "Legolas Scared Stupid." I like Eric Bana, but this movie was nothing compared to his moving turn as the hammerhead shark in "Finding Nemo." While the movie was enjoyable for a laugh in parts, it was nowhere near what it advertised itself as being, was not really worth 10 dollars to get in, and was not nearly as interesting as the guy sitting in the front of our theatre who got punched in the face.