February 11th, 2004

Volvo

I'm here to see a man about a movie about a horse.

I saw an advance screening of "Hidalgo" yesterday, and advance screenings always bring out the worst in me. They somehow leave me under the mistaken impression that I am important because I have gotten to do something before the majority of the people have gotten to do it, even if the thing I have done was not particularly interesting or even remotely memorable. When the movie I have "advancely seen" is released in the theatres I must use every device I have to keep myself from bragging about the fact that I have already seen it.
I don't really know if I expect people to be impressed by this or what, but the drive to share this information with people is incredibly powerful and probably falls somewhere between the drive for food and sex, and the drive to turn off the radio every time Dido's "I will go down with this ship" song comes on.

Sample Conversation:

Me- "Oh, Hidalgo? I saw that about a month ago."
They- "About a month ago??? But how on earth?? But it only just came out today!!"
Me- (grinning casually) "Oh yeah...that. I went to an advance screening. So in essence, I saw it BEFORE anyone else got to see it. So in essence, I was one of the FIRST."
They- "One of the FIRST! No!"
Me- "I kid you not."
They- "No!"
Me- "Yes!"
They- "You are AMAZING. You saw it before it was even RELEASED! I find myself short of breath after being in the presence of someone so powerful, with so much influence and political pull that there is no way they could still be sleeping in a bunk bed in their parents' house."

And the movies I see advance screenings of aren't even fabulous movies.
Narc
Tuck Everlasting
Matchstick Men
Serving Sara (And no, despite what some may say, Serving Sara was not saved by the mere presence of Bruce Campbell. I am of the opinion that a cameo appearance by God could not have helped that movie.)

And Hidalgo was very funny-- I laughed through the whole thing, although I'm not sure the director intended for me to do that because it was mainly supposed to be a serious movie.

But judging from my feelings on Hidalgo, combined with my frequently expressed negative feelings on Sea Biscuit and my indifference toward National Velvet, I believe I will be staying clear of the "Man and his Horse" genre for quite some time.