September 23rd, 2003


(no subject)

So my cousin's wedding is coming up on Friday and my mom has finally approached me with the "standing problem."
The standing problem is her problem with the way I stand. I stand, very often, with my feet shoulder width apart and my hands either crossed in front of me or on my hips. I feel this is a perfectly acceptable way to stand. I am a reasonably tall individual and I feel that this stance calls a minimal amount of attention to itself while, at the same time, preventing me from tipping over.
My mother would like me to stand with my feet together so that I sway like the Empire state building during a windstorm.

We spent about five minutes the other day practicing standing. (I had never felt this was something I needed to practice. I thought I had pretty much mastered it right before I tackled that "walking" thing quite a while back.)
But she felt we needed to do this so that I don't "shame the family at the wedding."
Other ways she is nervous I will "shame the family" have been brought to my attention over the past several weeks. They include:

The mere idea that I considered wearing re-enforced toe pantyhose with my bridesmaid sandals, despite the fact that my dress is so long my feet are barely visible and the fact that it's my cousin's wedding and most of the people in attendance aren't going to be looking at my feet.

The fact that my cuticles are sort of ragged lately.

The blackhead in my ear that she told me about two weeks ago but I never got around to removing.

And then, of course, she made the mistake of trying to critique my stance again, telling me that when I stood like that I looked like Peter Pan.
And I LOVE Peter Pan.
So now I will never ever stop standing like this ever.

And my feet are only shoulder width apart! I don't get it! I'm doing it right now and it looks completely normal!

Poll #183376 You got a problem with the way I stand?

Do I stand funny?

No, you look fine when you stand. Your mom is making a big deal out of nothing.

How do you stand, normally? Does anyone else have this feet-together-swaying problem, or is it just me?

And thanks to mykwud for posting my latest album cover in his journal.
The picture almost makes me want to get a mullet and sew myself a jacket out of discarded FedEx envelopes.


(no subject)

Apologies to strrphkrr and anyone who who was bothered by my only having one poll option from which to choose.

I just don't want any of you to start taking Democracy for granted.
In the future I'll go back to having multiple poll options that all mean the same thing

(no subject)

I finally got sockdolager to do an audiopost.
It took a lot of convincing.

Me: "Hey- did you see this thing? You can post with your voice."
Aurora the Houseguest: "HOLY SHIT, I'm totally doing that!"

-Hers was even less planned out than mine was.

-No sooner did she say "Hi," than both of us erupted into laughter.

-I am more than guilty of trying to be the center of attention, but that's what she gets for doing her audiopost in the kitchen which is the hub of all household activity. I specifically did my audiopost in my mom's closet for that very reason.