July 24th, 2003

Volvo

(no subject)

After ten hours of driving I arrived in Mount Vernon, Ohio.

I am using an eMac which is slower than a blind, three-legged dog.
I am sitting in the home of the mother of Aurora the houseguest
Although--
a.) Now that the tables have turned and I'm in Aurora's mother's house, I suppose I would be the houseguest and she would be the neurotic offspring of the homeowner, and
b.) My father, disliking the informality of the term "houseguest," has taken to calling her "Aurora the Sojourner"

Here is my impression of our destination so far:

The house is old and smells like cucumbers and there is an abundance of Rooster paraphernalia and halogen lamps.

The computer is bright and is attracting about a hundred million little tiny bugs-- one of which flew up my nose about fifteen seconds ago.

There was a weird looking insect on the kitchen floor which I tried to get the cat to eat. This attempt was unsuccessful.

Aurora just showed me her dog's bladder stone, which is about the size of a softball and which her mother is using as a paperweight.

The majority of the books on the bookshelf seem to deal with one of two topics:
a.) Gardening
b.) Menopause

Another bug just flew up my nose.

Compared to the speed of this computer, molasses looks like Carl Lewis.