May 21st, 2003

Volvo

This moment of petty self-absorbtion was brought to you by the letters Q and L. And by the number 6

So everyone in my house has discovered the fabulous mirror in my room.
I bought it because it was cheap. Because I...am cheap. I like to say 'frugal,' but whatever you want to call it, I don't like spending my hard earned money on junk when I could be storing it away in my bank account for no particular purpose other than my eventual monetary well-being. Which is actually a pretty important purpose but never mind that now...

So buying the 5 dollar mirror instead of the 20 dollar mirror didn't make a huge dent in my spending, but wound up being a much better bargain that the store brand applesauce I bought that looks and tastes like baby vomit. Because...
It's an irregular mirror. Not that it was labeled 'irregular,' like socks or a T-shirt with a funny seam. I didn't know it was irregular when I bought it. I discovered it was irregular when I was looking in it and realized that I looked much better in the mirror than I do in real life.
It does what most people wish their mirrors would do. It makes you look noticeably thinner right around the waist. And by noticeably, I don't mean that I noticed this. I am really bad about noticing when people lose weight. My mom lost 25 pounds and I had no idea. People can go through entire cycles of pregnancy without it ever coming to my attention.
I only noticed because I was blowing my hair dry and my head was sideways in the mirror and it looked sort of flat, like it had been squashed. It looked more like Ernie's head, where in real life it looks more like Bert's head. (In shape only. I don't have yellow skin or a black unibrow) So looking carefully when I stand in front of it, I look about five to ten pounds lighter.
They should've used it as the Mirror of Erised in the Harry Potter movies.
"What do you see, Harry?"
"It's my mum and dad. They're standing behind me. And I'm a size four!"

Ahh, this mirror. I don't care that it's not how I really look. And it's not that I look atrocious in real life, but I look so much better in this mirror that I go out of the house feeling great even when I look like shit. Only downside is my parents coming into my room at random intervals, checking out their thighs...