The Ugly Volvo (theuglyvolvo) wrote,
The Ugly Volvo
theuglyvolvo

What the HELL are they doing up there?

Personal Ad



Name: N/A

Location: Directly above your apartment

Star Sign: Leo or Sagittarius. Whichever is loudest.



Last great book I read:
The Complete Idiot's Guide to never letting your neighbors have some peace and quiet.

Celebrity I resemble most:
Gallagher. Or possibly Sam Kinison.

Best or worst lie I've ever told:
"Sorry about the noise."

If I could be anywhere at the moment:
At a 4th of July party, holding firecrackers three inches from your inner ear.

The five items I can't live without:

My live recordings of my college marching band, played at twenty thousand decibels.
Tap shoes.
Amps.
Television in surround sound.
My police whistle.


Fill in the blanks:

Dropping bowling balls on the floor is sexy;
Dropping bowling balls on the floor at 7 in the morning is sexier.

In my bedroom, you'll find:

The cast of STOMP and a variety of explosives.


I am:

a fun loving person who enjoys banging pieces of metal together, moving my furniture around, and salsa dancing in golf cleats. I enjoy having extremely loud sex and love racing my wild mustangs across the hardwood floors in my apartment.
I'm looking for that special someone who enjoys slamming doors, screaming into the phone, and re-enacting Aerosmith concerts at inappropriate times.

You are:

not a light sleeper.
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  • 34 comments

  • I Have a New Blog Because Hey, It's Not 2003 Anymore

    I started this blog when I was 23 and moving from Los Angeles back home to New York. I was young and had no idea what I was doing with my life. It's…

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    So I go to the tub this morning to see a tiny black bug—no bigger than a tomato seed and teardrop shaped—crawling around near the drain of our white…

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