The Ugly Volvo (theuglyvolvo) wrote,
The Ugly Volvo
theuglyvolvo

  • Mood:

Not Funny

I haven't been writing as much since I've been devoting most of my creative energy toward my stand-up act this week. This comedy class is really draining but I don't know when I've ever been happier in my life. Today is my first private writing session but even the group classes have been fabulous. It's great to get that much encouragement from people whose wombs I didn't crawl out of.

Also-- I've been getting interesting mail lately. (Read: I'm too tired to come up with anything funny so I'm re-posting my letters in lieu of doing something creative) I'm on the unusualphobias mailing list and today I got this message. I'd really love to see this guy's finished product.

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In case you hadn't caught on, these random rows of asterisks are what I use to section off parts of my entry.

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Ok. Here's that guy's letter now.

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Seriously.

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To Whom it May Concern:

Hello. I am currently developing a short subject documentary called
CONDIMENTIA, about people with irrational aversions or fears of
condiments and garnish foods. This would include ketchup, mustard,
mayonnaise, relish, horseradish, bbq sauces, steak sauces,
worcestershire sauce, olives, parsely, radish rosettes, cocktail
onions, etc...
If you have such a phobia and would like to be interviewed, please
respond directly to me at condimentiathemovie@yahoo.com.

Best regards
Seth Abramovitch
Director
CONDIMENTIA

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There's one guy on the unusual phobias site who has a fear of Thousand Island dressing. I hope he responds to this letter. I know my own phobia is pretty stupid and embarrassing but I can't help laughing at a guy going on hazmat alert every time someone in his family eats salad.

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Also: What's the difference between pussy and parsley?

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Answer?

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Nobody eats parsley anymore.

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Someone should tell my father that that joke is not really appropriate for an eleven year-old.

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Thankyewberrymuch.
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